"There's a bit of magic in everything, and some loss to even things out." -Lou Reed

Sunday, November 29, 2009


It hides from us in corners of our past, peeking out, then retreating for cover.

It bares itself openly in unexpected moments, overwhelming all of our senses and leaving us breathless.

It whispers to us in dim light and quiet moments when everything seems lost.

It endures the struggle of our battle against it, stronger than we could have imagined, defeating our resistance and somehow empowering us after the fight.

It is a mystery, a longing, a prayer with held breath, a distant glimmer of a light that looks something like peace.

It takes audacity to willingly seek it, even when it seems a given that it is there.

It takes a realm of courage unfamiliar to almost everyone to truly fall and know you will be caught by its net.

It is blindingly beautiful in the midst of chaos and debris.

It is today…shocking…because it resides in my heart.

It may at times seem weak to hope. Watching someone stand in the middle of a figurative or literal wasteland and profess hope for the gift of the next day can seem powerful, or a little delusional. And while most of the time I feel the former, when I heard the word audacity tied to the feeling of hope, it hit me how deep the level of courage that is necessary to accept and see some sort of possibility—to simply anticipate that things will get better.

I was not watching in 2004 when President Obama delivered his speech -The Audacity of Hope. I can’t say I have ever seen it, and have not had a chance to read his book with the same title. But I loved those words—and without anything to do with politics. Those words –the audacity to hope—spoke to me.

The thoughts I write tonight come to me as I stand on the edge of uncertain territory. I can say that over the last few years, I have watched my ability to hope falter in what I was sure was a map for my future. But there is a strange mix of fear and courage that brings me to this place—willing to take a step, a leap into an experience unknown to me until now.

And I feel those words that touched me so when I heard them. The audacity to believe permanent scars fade and heal, trust can return to my vocabulary, and a flicker of something I knew only before countless hard lessons, and too many mistakes…the belief that it will all be alright.

And as I type these last words tonight, there is an audacity in that, too. Putting these words out there, giving them life beyond the silent safety of just lingering in my mind.

It makes this real, it makes hope come alive—living and breathing in my mind, my heart…
in my life.


Fresh Local and Best November 29, 2009 at 10:53 PM  

This is a great reminder especially in light of leaner times this holidays season. Thanks for reminding us.

Angella Lister November 29, 2009 at 11:17 PM  

i hope for you...what you hope.

Eva Gallant November 29, 2009 at 11:19 PM  

Sounds like you find yourself on the threshold of loving again. If I am right, go for it. Even if I'm wrong, go for it. There's always reason to hope.

cyndi November 29, 2009 at 11:46 PM  

You will never know unless you go forth and act. It's better than saying I wish I had.... Regret is worse.

abhivyakti November 30, 2009 at 1:24 AM  

It seems as if you have given words to my feelings. You have to be brave to love, you have to have the courage to grow with it and let it change you.

Beautiful post.

Cheri Pryor November 30, 2009 at 3:13 AM  

The important thing is not that we can live on hope alone, but that life is not worth living without it. - Harvey Milk

I chose that especially for you because I know how much you loved the film...and I can feel how much you need to continue having hope in your life.

shasha November 30, 2009 at 5:30 AM  

I discovered your blog this weekend.
Since I believe in coincidences - I find it amazingly apt that the first thing I saw this morning was this post on Hope.
It's very touching, and beautiful.
Thank you!

JC November 30, 2009 at 10:38 AM  

Hope is what gets me through the day ...

Newly and Forever, Tamantha November 30, 2009 at 10:59 AM  

It truly does take audacity to hope...to open yourself up to disappointment and pain....I wish it for myself, because it has been sucha long, long time...

Bookworm November 30, 2009 at 12:44 PM  

This is beautiful and profound, and exactly what I needed to read right now. Thank you.

An Open Heart November 30, 2009 at 1:11 PM  

Bravo.....profound thoughts....



RMB November 30, 2009 at 5:00 PM  

Great thoughts and well written.

Have a good week.


Anonymous,  November 30, 2009 at 8:28 PM  

profound, and as always aglimpse into your soul, thank u ;)

Mermaid December 2, 2009 at 10:37 AM  

Thank you. That was exactly what I needed today. My sincere wish is that what you desire and need are received.

Pat December 2, 2009 at 3:29 PM  

If you don't have hope, is life really worth living?

Anonymous,  December 2, 2009 at 7:51 PM  
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
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Wenny December 16, 2009 at 1:49 AM  

A beautiful reminder. There must be HOPE to keep us moving forward.

CityGirl December 16, 2009 at 10:00 PM  

your blog is amazing. that's all i want to say. amazing.

Allie December 19, 2009 at 5:12 PM  

your poems are so beautiful! i love the pictures you post with them- they are such a nice accent to the poems themselves.
if you ever have time, please check out my blog at http://alliekate.blogspot.com ... i would love to have some feedback from you!

Just Me December 22, 2009 at 12:32 PM  

this is an amazing write! Hope until you cannot hope anymore. look forward to reading more and hope that you have a chance to read mine. Happy Holidays!!

prashant December 25, 2009 at 12:08 PM  

Sounds like you find yourself on the threshold of loving again

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Katherine February 3, 2010 at 4:10 PM  

That was so poetic & again profoundly beautiful. I believe that hope is an integral ingredient to be able to cope with & move forward after life changing events. Without it ... Life is too hard! I am so glad that we human beings have the ability to embrace hope.


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