I have written before about my somewhat irrational fears about losing my husband Shea. There are times when I sit and worry and even cross the line to obsessing about it—which I know is ridiculous. I don’t worry about him leaving me, I worry about losing him to illness, an accident, whatever, I have quite a list of possible ways that I try to keep at bay.
I think part of it is that I waited so long to find this love, and I can’t stand the thoughts of losing this man who is my soul mate, my best friend, and the best thing that has ever happened to me. The other part of it is just life and the constant stories I read about people losing loved ones in an instant- without warning- and it reminds me how fragile and unfair life can be.
Exhibit A is the story behind this food writer’s request. Jennifer Perillo is asking those who read her blog to make her husband’s favorite Peanut Butter pie in memory of him. Mikey Perillo died this past Sunday from a sudden, unexpected heart attack that robbed Jennifer of the chance to say goodbye or make his favorite dessert one last time. In Jennifer’s own words:
“I kept telling myself I would make it for him tomorrow. Time has suddenly stood still, though, and I'm waiting to wake up and learn to live a new kind of normal. For those asking what they can do to help my healing process, make a peanut butter pie this Friday and share it with someone you love. Then hug them like there's no tomorrow because today is the only guarantee we can count on.”
This video on her blog of him dancing with his daughter brought me to tears this morning.
So, today I am going to the grocery store to buy condensed milk, peanut butter, cream cheese, and all the other things I need to make this pie. And I will hold my husband a little closer and give thanks for another day with him.
Hug those you love, and visit Jennifer’s blog and send her some love, and jot down the recipe and make this peanut butter pie for Mikey.