"There's a bit of magic in everything, and some loss to even things out." -Lou Reed

Monday, January 17, 2011

Two Years

Two years ago today, I adopted my dog Bear. This wasn’t something I planned, it happened by chance, and I love to believe, by fate.

My life was so different two years ago than it is today. If I had known then what beauty lay ahead of me…well, I couldn’t have even fathomed it. And Bear was the first step in the process.
It sounds dramatic to say, but Bear literally pulled me out of one of the darkest times of my life. My friends tried desperately to change my outlook, but I was stalled, stagnant, lost in one place, barely able to get myself off the sofa. Plenty had happened to put me there, but it was bigger than all that. I felt the failures of my life, the loss and my history were bigger than me, bigger than my ability to cope.
Bear taught me how to open my heart, and was literally my reason for getting out of bed for awhile. Pretty big stuff for a being all of 12 weeks old.

Today, Bear is 107 pounds and the furry heart of our household. When I first began seeing my husband, I worried about how Bear would adjust. At that time, we had been on our own—just Bear and I—for almost a year. I didn’t know how he would feel about someone coming into our lives and taking my attention and time away from him. But, from the moment Shea walked in the door the first time, Bear was smitten and Shea adored him. Even though I often give Shea a hard time about Bear preferring him to me, and loving him more—I couldn’t be happier that the two of them have bonded the way that they have. Shea loves Bear the way I do and cares for our three cats the same way. I couldn’t have asked for someone who would better fit into my life and who would love and accept these animals as part of the package of being with me.

Our house is chaotic and loud, almost always messy, jealousy abounds amongst the animals and skirmishes are frequent. Bear sleeps with us in our king-sized bed, and we rarely get a full night’s sleep, as Bear adjusts to make himself more comfortable during the night, or chases one of the cats off the bed. I can’t leave the house without someone’s fur on me, fur that seems impervious to any lint brush, roller, or tape that I try to use to remove it. And I wouldn’t change a thing.

Two years ago today, as I got out of bed that morning, before I knew what the day held, I felt hopeless. I couldn’t imagine that love would find me in any form, I couldn’t imagine feeling true joy again. I thought my future was bleak. Little did I know, that day, the first piece of the puzzle would slip into place, leading me to where I am now. 

Little did I know, I would have everything I ever dreamed of, all in two years’ time.


sas January 17, 2011 at 9:36 PM  
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sas January 17, 2011 at 9:36 PM  

Its amazing the power of love in a dog. They give completely and without judgement. They are excited to see you when you come home, even if it's only been 10 minutes since you've been gone. They enjoy every moment to the fullest and every day is the best day. They have the uncanny ability to move on, even if life was not good to them for a while. I think they are good role models for us humans!

Eva Gallant January 17, 2011 at 11:08 PM  

I'm glad Bear changed your life, or at least helped you change it. What a heart-warming post.

Michelle January 18, 2011 at 10:02 AM  

i remember reading your post about the day he (bear) found you :) and picked out out for his very own... it was a great story.

i love my little dog Earl the same way... he is fantastic... no one is happier to see me than he is when i come home... even if ive only been gone for an hour... he misses me... it feels good to be loved on such a simple instinctive level, doesnt it.

im so glad that your story is headed towards happily ever after kim... i hope it just keeps getting sweeter :)

barefoot muse January 18, 2011 at 3:46 PM  

Beautiful post. It fills my heart with joy.

Christina January 18, 2011 at 4:20 PM  

A wonderful story; Im also considering adopting a rescued dog , breed Im not sure which one!

I, like you 2 years ago have been in a 'dark place' and feel that the only way Im going to stay out of my depressive periods is to take responsibility for another person, in the case, a dog!!

MamaDoo January 18, 2011 at 9:50 PM  

I love it! Furry friends are best friends. They are very intuitive, and I'm sure Bear appreciates you too!

lola January 29, 2011 at 3:42 PM  

That is so great that your life is working out! I was the same way. My life has changed for the better in the past year. I would have never thought it would get any better, but it did. I was quite hopeless, and out of luck back then, but now I have a fiance and so many other blessings and I am happy for your happiness as well!
If you would like, you could read an inspirational story I wrote today, "Field of Daisies." You might like it. Here is my blog's address in case you would like to read it. miss-lola.blogspot.com
Good luck in life, and have a very good 2011!

Deedee January 31, 2011 at 8:33 PM  

I can really relate to this post - my dog Rigby did the same thing for me - brought me back to life after the deepest funk I had been in for a very long time. I also got her quite by accident - or is anything really an accident? Dogs are a real gift from God.

Pat January 31, 2011 at 9:28 PM  

I remember when you adopted Bear. It's true that an animal can do wonders for the human spirit! I am so happy for you and the way your life has changed for the better. It was indeed, fate, for Bear and you to find each other!

D.M. SOLIS January 31, 2011 at 10:49 PM  

They're so amazing, aren't they? My Lucy was a rescue dog. She saved me back, as the saying goes. Thanks for posting. Peace and continued good things for you.


Feronia February 3, 2011 at 1:46 AM  

That is one very beautiful dog you have there!

MamaDoo February 15, 2011 at 9:10 PM  

Had to re-comment on here because I saw a bumper sticker today that made me think of this post. It was a black doggie paw with white letters in the middle that said "Who Saved Who?"


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